*Mega is walking down a street and suddenly a Strong Hallow shows up*
Mega:I know that sound..Its my sister..Im sry Sis But i mus kill u!
*Mega Jumps in the air and Slashes the hallow in half*
Mega's Sister:Its ok my brother.. u did the right thing..
*Mega starts to cry*

This is horribly done, no plot, you start in the middle of one anyhow, and you break up something that can be put into one post (or the equivalent of) into 5.

Overall try to make things more like a book with paragraphs, and put more detail, including into the 'Hollow' Sister's appearance.

In addition, try to display the emotions their feeling throgh words, give metaphors and the sort so people can understand them.


I was planning on trying to start a Bleach RP with you people but right now that seems unlikely with your current attitudes.